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Mile Nerd | Just the most miles in the fewest words possible. That…my friends…is what it’s like when Californians see 300 miles of open desert highway So, how do they react? I’ll tell you how By driving absolutely batshit crazy Visualize the energy of a crackhead sprinting to a pot of crack at the end of a rainbow That’s exactly what Interstate 15 back to Los Angeles is like
June 2025 | Mile Nerd Narrator (in Morgan Freeman’s voice): That was the greatest day of Tommy’s life Unfortunately, when paying the bill, he had a heart attack from reaching such extreme levels of excitement He eventually recovered But Tommy never did make it to the backseat of his car He spent the rest of his years explaining why he is not a racist And eating Skittles with a faraway look in his eyes
November 2025 | Mile Nerd That…my friends…is what it’s like when Californians see 300 miles of open desert highway So, how do they react? I’ll tell you how By driving absolutely batshit crazy Visualize the energy of a crackhead sprinting to a pot of crack at the end of a rainbow That’s exactly what Interstate 15 back to Los Angeles is like
May 2025 | Mile Nerd T And Me My sister’s name is Tina Can I remember a time without her? Well, she arrived right before my second birthday So, literally no memories of a world that doesn’t include her in it She later became the middle child And you’d need a supercomputer to calculate the number of Jan Brady memes we’ve sent her through the years We all just call her “T ” It’s quick Easy And
August 2025 | Mile Nerd Especially as an aging nerd with sore hamstrings and a bunch of gray in my beard But, man, when I walk in there? It’s like Handsomefest ’97 Cut to last week: I take a look down at the ol’ calendar Boom, it’s eyebrow time I walk through those doors Strutting in there as usual Almost gliding Even the hamstring feels great on
July 2025 | Mile Nerd Easy as A, B, C If I had a son, maybe I’d write him a letter Might even use an “A through Z” type of format… Allow things to affect you Why? Because it’ll happen regardless So you can put up a big, exhausting fight to bury your feelings Or not The world around is getting more robotic Give yourself permission to stay human Be an original Your unique “weirdness” is a
Mile Nerd | Just the most miles in the fewest words possible. When you can see it, you can be it And there’s no better way to compare your life to others than via high-speed internet from many miles away Join the AI revolution Technology is moving faster and faster It’s natural to be scared of getting left behind But we only fear what we don’t understand So, why not dip a toe in the water?
March 2024 | Mile Nerd Nerdy hobbies tend to be full of quirky types Some of whom are socially awkward To put it mildly For example… -The guy who mimicked every aspect of my blog’s layout, copied a long list of my writing patterns, and described himself as “like milenerd com” in his bio Definitely weird But I wanted to be supportive
Mile Nerd | Just the most miles in the fewest words possible. Will never realize he felt a million miles away from being a “take-charge guy ” Phillip has been doing this dance for a very long time And it’s not just for them This story he needs to tell – Heather avoids calling herself an influencer…but loves being one First thing she does each morning? A skilled edit of the day’s photos
Mile Nerd | Just the most miles in the fewest words possible. Lucy Land I agreed to watch my sister’s dog for the weekend That feels worthy of writing a live diary Thursday Could Lucy be the sweetest creature on this planet? Possibly She is, essentially, a 9-pound ball of love Bouncing around with turbo-powered joy Her playfulness dial cranked up to the max As we speak, she’s literally squealing with excitement to be here I’m talking actual